I don't ask, nor do I particularly want to know, about the "adult endeavors" of my fellow travelers. But at times, one has to wonder what the hell is going through some people's minds.
Now, I'm not referring to the ubiquitous older caucasian male with the younger Asian female "girlfriend". Or the more rare fifty-something woman with her far younger seemingly disconnected "local" counterpart. No, what I refer to is something far more simple. More surface, literally.
Appearance. Apparel. Clothing. Skin. Or in "big girl terms" cultural sensitivity.
When traveling in many parts of the world, especially as a woman (even more so as a solo woman), your days can colored by a series of hisses, kisses, whistles, catcalls, crude remarks, inappropriate gestures, awkward stares and for the less than fortunate, uncomfortable or frightening run-ins. At times worse. In Sri Lanka and in the past, my days have been splattered like a Pollack with each of these. While trying to always think the best of those around you, the world is not always a wonderful place and it pays to have your wits about you and to be smart about your choices. This includes, when traveling, what you wear.
In true Denise nature, let me backtrack and admit that this issue is particularly at the forefront of thought process recently given the Steubenville "Rape Crew" trial and the at times atrocious coverage and verbiage by the American media. I stand on a very distinct side of the issue stateside in that we need to change our idea about "teaching women how NOT to get raped" but rather raise our sons to know that rape in any form is not okay. I hate the concept that the media and public are condoning that women can incite rape by the way they dress or how much they drink. Because these nor any of the other rape culture excuses that exist in the US make it okay. Even worse is our seeming concern with what these rapists' futures will look like. That is another rant entirely though.
That tirade aside. Sri Lanka is not the US. I'm not getting on some high cultural horse about savages or the elite-ness of American culture. Quite the opposite in ways. Thanks to our media, our movies and at times the actions of our citizens (American, European, Australian or others), men in many parts of the world see "Western Women" as highly sexualized beings. Promoting some notion that the hisses, kisses, gestures and actions are okay. Actions they may or may not inflict upon the women they grew up besides.
Regardless, as female travelers, I think we are poised with the challenge to overcome these obstacles but also defeat these stereotypes. And while I don't think, a short skirt justifies rape and I wish we lived in a world where one could walk down the street in a bathing suit at any time of night. We don't.
So when traveling a country when the majority of local women/citizens/residents, don't show their knees or their shoulders or perhaps they even wear in a head scarf out of modesty to their religion, I am infuriated by women who will walk down the street baring more skin than I would in DC on an August afternoon.
On a hike to a religious site where you use steep stairs to reach the top, is it necessary to wear a short white tennis skirt with a thong? Walking around a small city, no Sri Lanka knees in sight, does it seem appropriate to wear a tiny one piece "play suit" barely passed your butt with your bra clasps hanging out? Sitting in a train carriage full of families and people headed home from jobs or life, does it seem necessary to wear white spandex shorts? Has no one ever told you to look in the mirror before you leave home? Or did your mother never teach you common decency? And if you choose, so stupidly, to don one of such delightful choices, don't you dare sit next to me at breakfast in your short floral skirt and tank-top and have the audacity to complain about how disgusting the men starring at you are. Or how appalled you are by their comments. My knee length, rolled up travelers' pants and T-shirt may not be "cute" but I don't want the kind of attention "cute" can garner me when thousands of miles from home.
Perhaps, I'm being a bit conservative or puritanical or call it what it is... prude. But I think out respect for a culture or for ourselves, out of honor, or just out of plain modesty, we owe it to future travelers and to the globalization process (be it a good or bad thing, it's happening) to promote a more positive image of women and their treatment. Sadly, but truly, this image begins at the very surface. And, as much as I want more people to travel, if those people can't respect local customs or norms; stay home. Please.
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